All posts by Keith Earle

As I reflect upon Jesus bearing the weight of the cross and falling for the first time, I am overwhelmed, and humbled.  The cross he bore was for the world, for all who fall short, and all who have sinned. The cross he bore was for me. This has always been one of the hardest things for me to accept as a Christian walking on my journey. Many times I have struggled and fallen, but through his grace I am redeemed and brought back to my feet and given more than I could ask or imagine.  This grace is so powerful and it is because of this grace that I learn so many valuable lessons as I grow in my faith.

Not so long ago I found myself in the midst of a failing relationship built on the weight of expectations that I could no longer bear.  I thought that this relationship was what people expected of me, and I kept it going at all cost. I was crushed and bruised and slowly drifted away from my center, my faith, because I could not make my false self in this relationship fit into who I knew I was truly called to be.  In my fear of failure and anxiety about being lost and forever “stuck” in the situation, I withdrew from engaging in life and became a shell of myself.  I found myself making choices that only dimmed my joy for the world and stole my love of all that God had provided me with.  It was through my lowest places that I began to realize that I was made for more than this. I began to deepen my prayers to God, asking him to give me strength to do what was best for my life. God provided, and I finally found a circle of strength, and those people through prayer and guidance helped me to see a path that led me to a healthier place and ultimately guided me to the relationship with God that I have today.

I am a person who lives in fear of the fall, however as I grow in my faith I realize that I am truly never too far gone from our Lord.   The fall, and the process of falling and getting back up again has led me to grow into a deeper understanding of the compassion of our Lord.  I have begun to look for ways to hold up the expectations of God in my life, rather than trying to bear the weight of what others expect from me. The weight of others’ expectations of me has been the thing that drives me away from my faith center. By keeping God at the center as my compass, I can learn to lean on my faith in the times when I am feeling pulled or crushed.  As I grow, I am learning to be thankful for the journey I experience through the fall, as it teaches me to walk more humbly with my God.

-Keith Earle

“…and he went out, bearing his own cross…”

Every time I read this passage I am struck by these words: “bearing his own cross.” Yes, Jesus may have physically carried that cross, but it was not “his” cross he bore.  It was ours.  We’re taught this from a very young age, that Jesus died for our sins, but then when I read the scripture, I can’t help but notice the word play; not “ours,” but “his.” He died for us. He chose to die for us.

Reflecting on this passage, it is all too easy to go over the laundry list of regrets that I may have, or mistakes that I may have made in life. In our secular society, we tend to focus on how we messed up rather than what we learned.  We hear from society how we’re falling short, and not living up to our potential. We all mess up. We all have moments in life that can be seen as failures. We all fall short. These can easily weigh us down and burden us, just as the cross burdened Jesus as he carried it to Calvary Hill.

Instead of seeing these life-moments as failures and short comings, I choose to see them as opportunities to learn. I choose to live a life without regretting mistakes I’ve made. I choose to live a life celebrating who I am, including all my flaws. I choose to live a life based on the Arabic phrase “Haiatek saiedah,” which means “Your life be happy.”  Every experience in our lives shares with us a lesson in how to be a better person, and it is our Christian duty to take those lessons and offer them as solace and aid to others when we can. I often falter and get caught in the downward spiral of self-doubt and human inadequacy, but then the scripture centers me and reminds me of my call in life.

Jesus took on our burdens and died for our sins, not so we could be free from care and responsibility, but so that we could take our burdens and use them to help and care for others.  Our burdens and trials are nothing compared to what he endured, no matter how much they hurt us. He taught us that it is possible to rise again on the other side of hardship, to live life in a way that shares the burdens of our fellow man, and to come together as a community of faith to support and love one another through our imperfections.

–Haley Bankey